


All I Want

by xxforeyes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, but blink and you'll miss it, harry loves Louis, he has a lot to say about it, the other 3 boys are there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 18:34:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4798046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxforeyes/pseuds/xxforeyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wanted to tell you I love you. To whisper it on your skin like a prayer, thanking every god there ever was that you are here. I wanted you to know how utterly grateful I am that of all the lives I could have had, of all the universes I could have been in, and of all the stars I could have been born under---I am here, living in the one you are existing in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Want

**Author's Note:**

> Another random drabble inspired by What a Feeling by soakyourskin. Check it out if you have the time. She writes really lovely stuff. The tittle is from Something Great by One Direction, of course. This is the longest thing I've written so far and I hope you guys like it.
> 
> Please let me know what you think :)
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as xxforeyes

I wanted to tell you that before I knew it, I found myself falling into step beside you. I found myself quietly watching you speak, never daring to interrupt because I was entranced by the way your eyelashes fluttered as you rushed through your words. 

I kept catching myself watching you when you laugh and feeling hopelessly endeared by the way you try to hide it. I wanted to tell you not to hide. Never hide, love, because you are so bright. The brightest thing I’ve ever seen.

I wanted to tell you I love you. To whisper it on your skin like a prayer, thanking every god there ever was that you are here. I wanted you to know how utterly grateful I am that of all the lives I could have had, of all the universes I could have been in, and of all the stars I could have been born under—I am here, living in the one you are existing in.

The whole world was looking at us—judging, scrutinizing, and picking us apart. They watched as we clawed our way to the top, hands never far from each other’s skin. They saw our signs, our lingering touches, and the ghosts of words left unspoken on our lips. They were looking so closely at us but, love, I was only ever looking at you.

I watched as they caged you up and dressed you the way they saw fit. I watched as they made you stand beside her and told you to look at her the way you looked at me. I watched as they tore you down until the light in your eyes was just a shadow of what it used to be. I watched as you tried to fit into the mold they made for you as I stood beside a girl they chose for me. I stood there quietly and regarded the distance they put between us as I felt myself slowly losing my way. But you caught me—like you always did—and left your fingerprints on my body as it to say  _it’s you, always just you._  

It was all too much to remain silent. Too much to keep my hands by my side when all I want is to reach for you. To feel the warmth of your skin as you stand beside me saying  _I’m here, you’re home Haz._  It’s all too painful even as a year goes by, then two. It’s the all too familiar ache in my bones that I can never seem to shake. That I never want to shake.

I wanted you to know that you are the ink I slowly covered my skin with. A permanent reminder of  _I’m yours_  and  _You’re mine._ A sort of shield for all that was to come. A life line.

I wanted you to know that I grew stronger the day you came up to me and showed me the apostrophes you got done. How I felt like my heart would grow too big for my body when you said _You’re not alone in this, babe_  as you sat there getting a rope carved around your wrist. It was a small battle we slowly waged against the world. Echoes of promises of love and forever under hotel sheets where they couldn’t touch us.

I watched as you slowly took your life back. As the world started to see you the way I did. I watched as you quietly fought back and slowly let your voice out again. Suddenly it was running around with Zayn, water fights with Liam, inside jokes with Niall, and lots of silly string thrown around. I always thought you were beautiful but, jesus christ, you are brighter than the sun.

I wanted to tell you I loved you in all the ways I knew how. That I hope you hear it in all our songs— _you’re all I want, so much it hurts_ —in all the words I put down for you. For us. I wanted you to know that as I walked down the aisle that day, away from prying eyes and our chains, I thought how glad I was that it's you.  _God, Lou, I am so glad it’s you_.


End file.
